For the good of the ecosystem

The photo above says: 'I told my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year.  Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.'

So my friend came by on a hot, sunny day.  She was dropping something off and we chatted outside socially distanced for a short while.  I didn't notice her husband until he got out of the car.  In truth I was surprised to see them together.  They tend to do things separately.  It turns out he had a bout of gout and she had to drive him to the doctor as it is his right leg and he cannot drive himself. 

I was weeding and seem to have missed a spot in a garden bed as I mostly focus on the lawn.  These weeds had been thriving for weeks and I saw insects buzzing around them in the heat.  I decided to leave them be, for the good of the ecosystem.

Joke, A Moral

I got this funny joke from Weekend-Windup, there is a moral here.

One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of an idea to avoid the exam. They made themselves to look as dirty with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean.

The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of two questions with a total of 100 Marks.

1. Your Name.......................... (2 MARKS)

2. Which tire got burst? (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right

History and Entrepreneurship

I think I got this joke from Martha's blog:

This is a wonderful story written by Angus Skene a Toronto architect, on the history of the huge Shoppers Drug Mart Canadian chain. The Kofflers, a Romanian jewish family moved to Canada in 1895 for a better life. Leon started a self-serve pharmacy when most goods were still sold behind the counter. He became a successful entrepreneur. After he died, his 17 year old son, also an entrepreneur, expanded Shoppers Drug Mart to the huge chain it is today.  Father and son seemed to have the knack of teaming with the right people, helping to secure their ambitions.

Here is a great tip to recycle postal bags from Ann.  All you need is a hairdryer!

Reunion

I couldn't resist sharing this one with you today, lol:


'Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion.
After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are
sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.  The band cranks
up, and people are beginning to dance.  There's a guy on the dance floor
living it large, break dancing, moon walking, doing back flips, buying
drinks for people, the works.

 

Wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me, and I turned him down.

 

Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"

 

$5 says you will forward this.'

Large Trees

Here's a joke on aging that I got from Martha yesterday, hilarious:

We were in a restaurant on the weekend talking to the waitress.  She mentioned they had a large tree in their backyard which was destroyed by the recent ice storm.  Fortunately there was no other damage to houses, etc. They got quotes to have it removed.  I couldn't believe they wanted between $2900 to $3500 to do the job.  Her neighbour had 2 such trees, obviously very large trees.

A few weeks ago, I had clicked on this screen urging me to update my java software as it was out of date.   Being an organized type that way, I succumbed to malware called 'conduit'.  I was getting annoying pop-up ads everywhere.  Husband M helped me to clear it from my computer system but something was left  in the computer registry.   Everytime I would start up my computer I would get a Run DLL error message saying 'background container wasn't found'.  Then magically, a few days ago, the message disappeared.  We figured we must've run CCleaner (our PC optimization and cleaning software) again and it found it this time.   It's great when problems fix themselves!  Now I carefully avoid these suspicious pop-up messages.  They look quite real and will copy the actual company's logo perfectly.

Careful what you ask for....

A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend. She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:

I'm on the toilet. Please advise.

Joke

I went for my usual haircut and colour earlier this week. Walking over to the hairdresser's I noticed a very senior man moving slowly along on his own, pushing his walker. Then I saw the box of beer sitting on the seat of the walker and I realized he was just leaving the beer store! This amused me.

Here's a cute joke for you:


Complete vs. Finished.

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between
"complete" and "finished". However, in a linguistic conference, held in
London England, and attended by some of the best linguistics in the
world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese was the clever winner.

His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between
"complete" and "finished". Please explain the difference in a way that
is easy to understand. His response was:

When you marry the right woman, you are "complete". If you marry the
wrong woman, you are "finished". And, when the right one catches you
with the wrong one, you are "completely finished".

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

Joke

This joke is making its way around the internet, couldn't resist! Have a great day!  Do you like Eggs Benedict, by the way?  It's not my favourite, but I'll eat it.

The Irish Millionaire

I just have a cute joke for you today. Enjoy!

Ah, the Irish are so logical!


The  Irish Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire'
and toward the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.

"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter,
"but for a million pounds, you've got only one life-line left, phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"
"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
a)  Sparrow

b)  Thrush,
 
c)  Magpie,

d)  Cuckoo?"

“I haven't got a clue." said Mick,
“So I'll use me last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ."

Mick called up his mate Paddy,
and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

"Fookin’ hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple -  it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"I’m fookin’ sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as me answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.
"Dat it is."

There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed,
"Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!"
The  next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
"Tell me, Paddy?  How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo
that doesn't build its own nest?"

"Because he lives in a Fookin’ clock !!!"


 

Dairy free meat free gravy

My daughter L is home for the long Thanksgiving weekend.  We hadn't seen her for all of September!  I have a small (10 pound) turkey thawing in the refrigerator.  It should be ready for roasting tomorrow!

I cooked a whole chicken in my new crockpot this week.  It was so flavourful after 5 hours on the high setting.  I roasted some brussels sprouts and celery to go with the dish.  We are having a large e-coli recall of beef products in Canada unfortunately.  I've just happened to be staying away from beef.  Apparently it's ok if you ensure your beef is very well cooked and I know K has been buying beef burgers.  I just don't like the part where they say you wouldn't show symptoms of the illness until 4 to 10 days after you've eaten the contaminated beef.

Here is a dairy free meat free gravy called 'groovy gravy'  to try.

Joke for today:

Butter Cookies and Steamed Broccoli

Not necessarily in that order!

Gloria of Canela Kitchen recently posted a recipe for butter cookies, we tried it and it was delicious!  It's the kind of cookie where it's hard to stop at just one.  I hope you will try it too!

In other food news, I have been steaming a lot of broccoli.  My pressure cooker came with a trivet and steamer basket but I had never really used these pieces.  They fit perfectly inside a large saucepan. I've never steamed much as I didn't think I had the right equipment.  I don't own an actual  steamer appliance. Anyway, I just chop the broccoli into small pieces, season with spices (onion powder, garlic salt, pepper, herbs).  I place the trivet into the saucepan, with a couple of inches of water, cover and bring to a boil.  Then I put the steamer basket filled with broccoli atop the trivet, cover and simmer for 12 or 13 minutes. Do you steam a lot of your food?  It's a good thing!

trivet

steamer basket

saucepan

And here's a joke for you!

Hindsight

I saw this interesting article in the newspaper where Toronto taxi drivers are using phone apps to find fares. Interesting because, instead of using " a centralized dispatch centre to connect drivers with passengers", this method seems better.  It's the way of the future and traditional jobs will be phased out or downsized due to technology.  It's happened in other areas...bookstores, record stores, video stores.  And I'm sure history is repeating itself...you know how the horse and buggy were replaced by cars, etc.  It's hard to keep pace with change, and easier to look back in hindsight!

I got this in an email and thought it would be a nice Saturday share!

Five Cents

The latest thing I've noticed that Walmart is doing is having the cashier ask if you'd like to donate 5 cents to a good cause.  I had to double check the amount.  It might be an ingenious way to get a lot of
money for charity, who can't afford 5 cents?  What do you think?  I actually told the cashier 'next time' as I had already said 'no' before registering the amount requested.  

I saw a wildlife control truck outside a neighbour's house yesterday.  I asked the man if it was raccoons, but he said it was squirrels he was there to remove.  Yes, there are lots of squirrels around and they are getting inside of people's roofs.


I got this in an email and thought it was a good one!

Pendant Scarves and a Joke

I went to a local country decorating and collectibles show on the weekend. There was a booth selling pendant scarves and it was very popular.  It must be something new.  Do you like them?

And I got this great joke from Valerie at Craft Attack. A girlfriend of mine loved it when I shared it with her, she said she laughed a lot:

A Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it..'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'

Childbirth at 65!!!!

This joke gave me a chuckle!

With all the new  technology regarding fertility recently,  a 65-year-old friend of mine  was able to give birth.   When she was discharged from the  hospital and went home, I went to visit.   'May I see the new  baby?' I asked 

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can  visit for a while first.' 

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked,  'May I see the new baby now?'   'No, not yet,' She  said. 

After another few minutes had elapsed,  I asked  again, 'May I see the baby now?' 

'No, not yet,' replied my  friend. 

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?' 

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me. 

'WHEN HE CRIES?'  I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I  FORGOT WHERE I PUT  HIM, O.K.?'

A Lesson for All

I was out for a lovely walk with a friend in great weather yesterday morning. Here is a photo of some brilliant fall colour in the neighbourhood.

I received this in an email and  my friends seemed to like it:

A Lesson For all

I would just like to share an experience with you all, and it has to
do with drinking and driving. As you know some of us have had brushes
with the authorities on our way home from the old “soiree” over the
years? Well I finally have done something about it!

Last night I was out for a few drinks with a few friends and had way
too many Wines, a few shooters, knowing full well I was wasted, I did
something I've never done before. I took a Bus home. I arrived home
safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had
never driven a bus before!!

Okay, maybe this joke is in poor taste because for sure, drinking and driving
is not acceptable.