The book in a nutshell

My mom passed away 2 years ago on Jan 4, 2017.  May she rest in peace. I had painted this picture of her based on a photo towards the end of her life, she did love her ice cream!

Duta asked me to share some of the suggestions in 'The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning' by Margareta Magnusson which I recently read.

The book is a quick read with just over a hundred pages, it is a best seller.  It is a concise book of memories and reflections, appropriately lacking clutter.  She is also an artist between 80 and 100 years old, who has sold most of her artwork.

Death cleaning involves taking responsibility for your things to make it easier  for your successors.  she advises you hold on to your favourite things such as paintings or special furniture items.  It will take time to do a good job, plan for that.  Start in the basement, front door closets, leave photos, personal papers till later, they will take time.

Start with large items, finish with small items.  Get rid of abundance.  Sort furniture, clothes, books, linens.  Have a 'Keep' pile, a 'Discard' pile.  Keep only clothes you will wear or if sentimental.  Purging is a continuous process.

Order is so important, everything should have a place of their own, such as keys.

Set aside one week to clear each room.

She decribes her married life as 50 years of ups mostly some downs, wishes she had started clearing earlier like at 65 when they were both in better health.  We think we will live forever.  Then again, maybe purging is best done alone.

People want to inherit nice things not all things.  We cannot hold on to things forever, we must decide when to pass things on to others, family, friends, charity.

She wisely discusses things that fill up our houses...small appliances, bathroom things such as makeup, medicine cabinets containing expired medicines, even old linens go out of style.

She advises us to reuse, recycle, and live simpler, smaller  lives.

Get rid of old gear you will never use.

On the topic of books...she keeps reference books and only favourite books.

She advises giving away surplus plates, glassware.

Recipe books need purging.

Enjoy looking at things instead of buying them.

She admires beautiful, practical, sparsely furnished homes.

Keep a throw away shoebox  with things just valuable to you.

Recycle, donate even if you have no kids.

And that is the book in a nutshell!

RIP Mom

Today marks the first anniversary of my mom's passing. RIP mom, you are in a better place now.

RIP Mom

My mom will be laid to rest today. Family and friends will be with us at this sad time. It is for the best, she did not have to go to a long term care home or endure palliative care. She will be with us forever in our hearts.

No Code

My mother passed away last night in the hospital.  It came as a surprise as she had been doing well at noon when I fed her all her lunch.  They had removed her IV medicines and she started an internal bleed at the site.  The Doctor spoke to us and told us how critical she was. She was in terrible pain and on morphine in those last few hours, I don't think her weak heart could stand the strain.  RIP mom.

My sister's in a bit of a shock, she said 'we're orphans now'.  I said yes, but we are in our fifties!

When my mother went into emergency, the term Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) came up. We did not have a clear understanding of what that means and I learned the following:

If the heart or breathing stops a DNR request can be made by the health care power of attorney to allow natural death (AND).  This new term is more popular.  DNR only affects intubation and CPR.  The patient can continue treatment with drugs, etc.

My sister and I had a power of attorney for health care and for property for my mother.  It's a big responsibility.  In fact I used that power to sign for a blood transfusion for her in what turned out to be her last hours.

Do you have these documents for yourself, it's a good thing.