CREATIVE PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

These are cute:


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.


2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian .


3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.


4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was
a weapon of math disruption.


5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
work.


6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.


8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart..


9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.


12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'


14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass..'


16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'


17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.


19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.


20. A backward poet writes inverse.


21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.


22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.


23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!