Too Funny Not to Share!!

Too Funny Not To Share!!

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?

WELL...YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT

UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ASS,

GREY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED:

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?

Sumac

Here's what remains of that poor tree from yesterday's post.



I like this combination of flowers under a tree I was walking by the other day. Great colour and texture.

I saw this article on a middle eastern spice called sumac that I've been hearing about more and more. Here is a recipe for Sumac-marinated chicken kebabs. Here's one for Grilled eggplant with feta, mint & sumac.

Yesterday, the L took K for a drive to get an eyebrow waxing. Then they went to McDonald's and brought me back an iced coffee. Apparently K warned her that a guy was running a stop sign. All's well that ends well. K met a friend in McD's and was acting like a big shot (no parents tagging along!).

Went for a walk this morning with a friend. She's heading out to a cottage weekend with her son and a couple of old girlfriends. It should be a great gab session for them. It's getting hot outside. My sister's due to arrive from Florida this afternoon. L painted our nails black for tomorrow's American Idol concert!

I just had a knock at the door. I had to open it when I saw this young Chinese woman with the cutest little blonde boy at the door. He was holding a pamphlet and seemed to be about 4 years old. I thought, I guess I'll HAVE to give some money. It was a Jehovah's witness pamphlet. I politely handed it back to the little kid and they went off to another house. But I don't think they should be using that little boy like that. He must be wondering why people keep giving back his flyer.

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This is a tree that went down beside my neighbour's house during Sunday night's thunderstorm. She thinks it was a lightning strike. She called the town and they came immediately to 'repair' the tree. She actually asked them to cut the remaining branch off as she fears that the next time it will eventually fall on her fence. They told her they would have to call another department to assess the tree. I told her the tree has very deep roots and it should be ok, but she's not satisfied.

I saw this Stokke stroller in the mall yesterday. It's designed to bring your child closer to you. I just thought it had a really unusual look and wasn't sure what it was at first until I saw the child in there.

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Top Diet Myths Exposed - this is worth reading, it says even though shrimp is high in cholesterol, it's low in saturated fat and is actually good for you! It also says women don't gain weight because of menopause, it's more because they slow down and exercise less.

Mediterranean diet, exercise lower dementia risk

Create Tuesday 02

I was here



Here's my entry for Lissa's Create Tuesday 02. Click on the link in the sidebar for more details if you would like to participate.

One of this week's themes is:

I WAS HERE - create whatever comes to mind when you hear these words


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A special visitor

We've been having severe thunderstorms, lots of lightning and it's not over yet although it is calm at the moment. We didn't lose power, but Toronto Pearson International airport did! That's major.

Last night, L met some friends for a movie and a 'bon voyage' dinner party. K got M to take him to see 'GI Joe' and I went to see 'The Ugly Truth'. K liked GI Joe, M said it was 'ok'. I enjoyed my movie, although, these days nothing is left unsaid and it's only rated 14A....L had seen it last week and said she liked it ..oh well. They must hear a lot in health class, ETC. When the kids were little, I had this book that seemed to explain the birds and the bees very well, and that was it for me! Her group actually saw 'Julie and Julia' which she thought was a bit boring although it made her hungry. At the restaurant after, she said she ate her food slowly, in small, careful bites as Julia Child would have done to savour the experience.

Oh, I had never seen this actor Gerard Butler who stars with Katherine Heigl in 'The Ugly Truth', and he seemed interesting: Here's his bio He's been around for awhile.

My sister from Florida is visiting later this week for a short while, she'll be staying at my other sister's house. It will be great to see her.

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Say What?

Say What?

A sampling of some popular shorthand texting terms.

* UG2BK . . . . . . . You got to be kidding
* GBTW. . . . . . . . Get back to work
* NMP . . . . . . . . . Not my problem
* PIR . . . . . . . . . . Parent in room
* GFTD. . . . . . . . . Gone for the day
* FYEO. . . . . . . . . For your eyes only
* BI5 . . . . . . . . . . Back in five minutes
* DEGT . . . . . . . . Don’t even go there
* BIL . . . . . Boss is listening
* PAW. . . . Parents are watching
* 99 . . . . . . Parents are no longer watching
* PCM . . . . Please call me
* IMS. . . . . I am sorry
* TOY. . . . . Thinking of you
* KUTGW. . Keep up the good work
* CID . . . . . Consider it done
* FWIW. . . For what it’s worth
* HAND . . . Have a nice day
* IAT . . . . . I am tired
* NRN . . . . No response necessary
* 4COL. . . . For crying out loud
* WRUD. . . What are you doing
* LMIRL. . . Let’s meet in real life
* ^5 . . . . . . High five

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Good Husband...

GOOD HUSBAND…

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.

I love you, darling!

Love, Jillian"



He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.



His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son.... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M.., drunk and out of your mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,

"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"



Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time. . PRICELESS



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